STRUGGLES
Parenting Questions not even Google had answers to
New Normal + Newborn + First time Parents • A story of coping and learning for first-time parents during Pandemic when even Google don’t have answers to.
The last Pandemic happened almost a century ago hence no google records on how the parents back then have coped. No blogs, no photos, barely any testament talking about parenting and pandemic, and most of all, no google to put it all into a cohesive record of reference. So what?
You see, the current generation of parents are raised in the advent of digital technology and are undoubtedly fluent with crowdsourcing answers over the Internet. From online articles, book recommendations, to support group forums and social media avenues.
Given that most of the survival strategies and coping for new experiences of the adults and young adults of 2020 have relied on information gathered online, how else are we expecting first-time parents to cope with COVID happening then?
MY PARENTING STORY: a quick look
We knew we were pregnant months before the Pandemic happened. Years before that, I already listed some of the things I wanted to happen during and after pregnancy for my baby. From enrolling in neonatal classes to adventures that will expose my baby to better developmental milestones, I was really looking forward to it. As we hit our 5th month of Pregnancy, the Pandemic happened. Aside from the Pandemic, I had a very sensitive pregnancy resulting in a sudden resignation of my job, a ton of bed rest without bathroom privileges, and three visits to the hospital E.R. My Birthing story even got more complicated after getting misdiagnosed of COVID and getting isolated from my baby among all other hassle complications. I wrote about my Birthing story in the book New Normal, New Beginnings (available in eBook and softcover)
Given that most of the survival strategy and coping for new experiences of the adults and young adults of 2020 have relied on information gathered online, how else are we expecting first-time parents to cope with COVID happening then?
PARENTING + PANDEMIC
Parenting can take a toll on your mental health even before the pandemic happened. The challenges, no matter how much you prepare, can leave you clueless on some days. No amount of stress management, sleeplessness experiences, and love for kids can get you all the answers. Each baby is unique and no book or reference can have all the answers. Above all these, empathy and that unique connection between you and your baby are the best go-to. However, with the Pandemic happening, decisions are made differently.
Parenting in the New Normal: Second-thinking Hospitalization
Unlike the pre-pandemic times, rushing your baby to the hospital becomes a high-stake decision.
Suddenly, your pediatrician needs to be more responsive at any time of night and day and must be able to provide instructions that would require lesser visits to the hospital as much as possible.
Suddenly, check-ups for your baby are well-timed, to make sure patients observe proper social distancing and not crowd at the clinic.
Suddenly, you have to always observe your baby closely and closer than how pre-pandemic parents have done theirs just so diagnosis is more precise with your records of behavior changes or fussiness and cues from your baby.
Suddenly, your phone camera is not just filled with happy moments with your baby but also of the skin rashes, the crying, stool photos, among other physical changes that seemed abnormal or unusual for their age.
Parenting in the New Normal: Online Shopping gone wrong
For some of us parents, dropping by the baby section at a store or the mall would give us a big grin. Those cute shoes and dresses just can’t help but bring a smile to anyone who sees it. However, with the Pandemic happening, most of the purchases had to be done online. Suddenly, you had to measure your baby’s shoulder width or the foot’s length just to make sure you are not buying a size smaller than what would fit them. Moreover, once the delivery is here, you get surprised when the design didn’t match the photo of what you ordered, or something is off that was not visible on the online store’s details or photos. Sometimes, the seller just mixed the orders up and you are compelled to return it just to get the items you paid for.
It also gets tricky buying baby-specific things such as a crib, playpen, stroller, walkers, and the like. It just feels different checking out items like that before buying just to see if it is the right size with the right feature versus buying online and putting all your trust in the reviews, photos, and vlogs about it.
Suddenly, shopping is slowly becoming stressful rather than the other way around.
Each baby is unique and no book or reference can have all the answers. Above all these, empathy and that unique connection between you and your baby is the best go-to. However, with the Pandemic happening, decisions are made differently.
Parenting in the New Normal: Social Development of the Baby
Socialization is essential in a baby’s development and it gets critical during its early stages. However, with the Pandemic happening, the baby would mostly see adults wearing face masks while talking, and learning about facial expressions by observing becomes a struggle. Visits by friends and other kids are no longer easy to do due to travel restrictions and the health risks as well. It gets more heartbreaking when another toddler passes by your baby and they were both receptive to interacting with each other until you had to say “No touching please,” and they both look at you trying to understand why. As much as you would like to equate that with your full attention to the baby, there is something that only toddlers, babies, and kids can understand towards each other and this pandemic has made that a very tricky aspect to handle.
Parenting in the New Normal: Getting Help and Relaxation
Whether you are a parent or not, getting relaxation in this time of pandemic seems farther than before. For first-time parents, day care or a babysitter would have been convenient however the pandemic has made it more complicated given the health risks. Some of those who also went on a private vacation still dealt with contracting COVID no matter how careful they have gone.
Getting help also meant having a support group. Although an online one would be helpful, personal interaction with other mothers and parents still make a whole lot of difference. Sanity is getting a critical hit with the Pandemic and Parenting all happening at once.
Parenting in the New Normal: Adventures on a Halt
The Pandemic has not only brought anxiety on health risks but has also crippled a lot of industries and businesses. As much as you would like to indulge your child in sensory play with mother nature, the restrictions and new regulations put those plans to a pause. The photos and videos captured are mostly within the house and garden (if you’re lucky to have that space.) Just imagine those who live in high-rise condominiums and apartments. The room for play and imagination of the child is limited to such concrete corners during the critical stage of their development. The pressure to give the best to your kid builds up. So most parents need to get more creative in helping their child get exposed to as many open spaces as possible without putting higher risks, of course.
These are just a few of the many questions I asked google but didn’t really get answers to. Comment down your experience and feedback and let the discussion help us cope in this time of pandemic.
Disclaimer: I am in no way a certified health professional and everything stated here is based on experience and recent online research through google.
